With so many rumors constantly swirling around about Beyoncé, her upcoming HBO documentary, “Life is but a Dream” promises to be a huge hit with her stans, fans, and haters alike. According to USA Today, this documentary goes into a lot more detail about the usually private entertainer than we ordinarily get to see. Two of the issues she discusses in the documentary are her miscarriage two years ago and the surrogate rumors going around about her. According to the USA Today article:
“Most notably: She opens up about her miscarriage two years ago, saying that one week she heard a heartbeat – and the next, nothing. And she talks about how devastating the loss was to her and how she retreated to the studio to deal with it.
Most movingly, she addresses stories that she used a surrogate to carry daughter Blue Ivy, now 1.
“There’s a stupid rumor. The most ridiculous rumor I think I’ve ever had about me. It’s crazy. To think I would be that vain – I respect mothers and women so much and to be able to experience bringing a child into this world, if you’re lucky and fortunate enough to experience that, I would never, ever take that for granted. It’s the most powerful thing you can do. Especially after losing a child, the pain and trauma from that just makes it mean so much more to get an opportunity to bring life into the world. It seems like people should have boundaries,” says a visibly shaken Beyoncé.” Source
First of all, I must say I’m not a huge fan of Beyoncé, but I don’t hate her. I consider myself “Beyoncé-Neutral”. I own two of her albums but rarely listen to them. I never really got wrapped up in the Beyoncé Skin Bleaching Scandal of 2005, 2008… or 2012, I didn’t really care whether or not she lip synched at the 2013 inauguration, and I rolled my eyes when I first heard the Blue Ivy surrogate rumors. In general, I usually don’t pay much mind to celebrity gossip, but people’s hateful reactions to her newly revealed miscarriage and the never-ending surrogate rumors really stirred something in me.
I’m not sure what it is about Beyoncé that people love to hate. Everything she does elicits an emotional, angry response from some people (“Look at her holding her fork in her left hand, trying to pretend like she all left-handed n’ shyt. Bysh, you ain’t left-handed! How dare she lie to her fans!”).
Everyone’s got an opinion on her life - even when it comes to something as personal as a miscarriage or pregnancy. I understand that by her being one of the biggest celebrities out there right now, some people feel entitled to know every intimate detail of her life including what goes on inside her uterus, but I have to agree with Beyoncé’s statement above “It seems like people should have boundaries.” I don’t know exactly where that boundary should be when it comes to a mega-über-celebrity like Bey, but I know her reproductive system and what goes on therein is definitely off-limits.
A miscarriage is a terrible event I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how difficult that must be to go through something like that, let alone announce it in front of millions of strangers who are just waiting to pick it apart. Whether you’re a Beyoncé fan or not, basic human decency should kick in somewhere, but apparently it hasn’t.
For instance, while doing some research for this blog post, I came across these little comment gems that the kind people of the internet left on a post about Beyoncé’s new documentary:
What’s even more disturbing is that these comments have several “likes”, which means they aren’t the only people who are “not surprised or sympathetic over the miscarriage”. Sad.
The never-ending saga over did she or didn’t she hire a surrogate to have her baby also falls within the realm of “none of anyone’s business”. For the sake of discussion, let’s just assume the rumors are true and she did hire a surrogate. First of all, this too goes on within the walls of her (or someones) uterus which makes it none of my business. Secondly, people are so quick to assume that she hired a surrogate for superficial reasons – that she didn’t want to mess up her smokin’ hot bod. There are tons of reasons why a couple can hire a surrogate. Maybe she has fertility issues. Maybe she’s afraid of having another miscarriage. And yes, maybe she doesn’t want to mess up her body. We may never know, but either way, I don’t see anything wrong with her choice to have a surrogate or her choice to keep it a secret from the public.
I know what you’re gonna say: ”But Leah, she lied to us! She wore a fake belly on the VMAs and tried to make us think she was pregnant!”. Even if that is true, why does that bother you so much? She doesn’t owe us anything but what she wants to give. Beyoncé has always kept her private life relatively private. Maybe she wanted to share the news that she was “expecting” but didn’t feel comfortable sharing her alternative method of reproduction with a cruel, critical public. That’s her business, and really I can’t blame her for hiding it. I mean, look at how badly people are picking her apart right now. Next thing you know, the public is going to be demanding to see her medical records, delivery room footage, and Blue Ivy’s long-form birth certificate.
Like I said, I’m not really a Beyoncé fan, and I can’t believe I just devoted a whole blog post to defending a woman I hold no strong feelings for, but to me this is deeper than Beyoncé’s pregnancy or lack thereof. It’s about the cruel way we often treat other women, who we often times don’t even know! It’s about basic human decency, sympathy for others’ pain, and respecting people’s boundaries. Women can be so cruel to each other for no real reason other than to make themselves feel better. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a mega-celebrity or that chick in the third cubicle to the right, some women get so much joy out of tearing down other women. It’s the ugly side of being female and I hate it every time I see it. Either way, the next time you have the urge to spew hate at Beyoncé, that annoying chick at your job, or that dumb b**** at Wal-Mart, please have some sympathy for your fellow female and remember:
“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference”. ~Elie Wiesel
What do you think about Beyoncé’s new Documentary? How do you feel about the surrogate rumors? Do you love her or hate her? Why? Are you going to watch her documentary?